In all honesty I feel bad about writing this letter, because there are a number of factors that could attribute to why you smell the way you do.
The offensive nature of your body odor has actually affected my work productivity today. If you I were banging and clanging reps at the gym and you walked by with that awesomely vivid funk, I could give you a pass.
But I smelled your situation while sitting at my cube.
The walls on my cube are five feet tall. It’s like you emit a funk aura like Pepe Le Pew.
Plus, you’re married. What scares me even more is if you and your partner have twin funk imprints. That means sex could only serve to create some sort of olfactory Voltron that slays the nose functions of people in small villages and hamlets.
I said all that to say this…Wash your ass.
Nasal Indecency Victim