Dear ex-lady friend

I know you wonder why I seemed uncomfortable last night.

I was…


I don’t know how you were raised but what you have in your bathroom is inexcusable. Granted, it’s always uncomfortable when strolls into your bathroom and casually drops their kids off in your swimming pool.

I get that…

Don’t worry; I double flushed so as not to leave any pennies on the counter.

But I wonder how you aren’t uncomfortable EVERY TIME you go in there! I could sand down and refinish a dresser with that crap you call toilet paper! Please enjoy this package of Charmin Ultra Soft and re-examine your life.




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